Amused Authors

The Real Goat Suck by Grayson Cole
February 24, 2010, 12:32 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

OK, so I am having a great time with accents and craziness. Check out an excerpt from my upcoming horror/comedy, “The Real Goat Suck”. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The Real Goat Suck

Grayson Reyes-Cole

The camera in my hand clicked. My name is Denny and I reluctantly dropped mygaze to see what had happened. I didn’t want to take my eyes off the hypnotizing and naked fruitcake I’d met on an unusually silent and dark-despite-the-full-moon beach near Cabo San Lucas.

“I heff frriends ofer and vee drink goat meelk, vee eat pasta vit goat cheez, ven vee arre feel decahdent, vee eat rrost goat loin. Ven vee arre feel prreemeeteef, vee prrefer tehrr de flesh off de bone vile de goat still stroggle.”

Her accent is heavy, but her eyes are bright green and large, her hair is black as night, and her skin is so pale I can barely stand it.

These were her words: “I have friends over and we drink goat milk. We eat past with goat cheese. And when we are feeling decadent, we east roasted goat loin. When we are feeling primitive, we prefer to tear the fless off the bone while the goat still struggles.”

I fell in love with her when I first laid eyes on her walking along the beach. It was hot and sticky outside, but the breeze right there on the water made everything OK, or at least it made me want to jump into the water and die. Cool water, in the dark, relieving me from the heat, whispering to me that if I float away on the mild waves, the sea will love me to death.

“I am noht Mehxeecan or Pwehrto Rreekahn, I yam Serrbian,” she says. “My hair is dark-like and my eyes are lie-test blue, sohm time vite-like. You know, vite, almost like de skeem meelk…”

Her eyes are deep, dark green. They sparkle. But she is right, sometimes they flash white. I find that I can’t stay away from seeking that flash of white. I keep staring at her, waiting for her eyes to flare, almost like I am on a quest to prove what I have seen.

“Dis verd dat day yoos choopah… choopahkahbra. I dink dat eet sahunts zohhh fohnny.” A dimple appears in one of her cheeks that makes her look young and full of life as she laughs a deep hollow sound. It’s like we’re on a picnic, but we are not.

A chupacabra, I learned long ago, is something like the Hispanic Sasquatch, you know? Some folks describe it as a reptilf with a scaly gray-green hide with quills running down its back. Some say it hops like a hare, But always it has a big cat-like face, maybe a forked tongue, and sabreteeth (yes, that’s the plural of sabretooth). Either it screeches or lets off a high pitched hiss like water dropping in hell and its eyes glow either green or red. Staring into its gaze could kill the faint of heart.

This girl, Menassa, is nothing like what she claims to be.

She, a beautiful pearl in the night, gives me the impression of a starved, stalking dog. Hairless, sick, and perched for a kill that will make it joyous. I imagine if she changes that she will also have claws. I’m not sure why, but I see them in my minds eye. She seems capable of liquefying one’s insides and sipping one’s blood and organs through a single set of puncture wounds.

She continues talking to me:  “Ont dey put de ‘el’ in frront. Dat ees mell. Vee arre all born feymell. Uhll us, feymell. Nefer vee geeve birt to boy. My mahder make jok dat dee firrst boy born vill be de gay. I dunt no vie she beleef dis, boht it make her ont my seesters laff ont laff.

I have a quick thought that if I use a razor blade to slice through her marble-white skin, that slimy fur will be revealed and it will dry and expand and she will tear like a monster through this hypnotizing flesh.

“Vee arre hoppy mohst time. Boht vee battle. Eet ees like addickshon, you no? I watch de show, on tfee, and I dink I yam like doz pehple. Eet vill be ferry bahd soon. When seezon change, vee go crrrazee. Eet has nahting to do vith da moon I dunt dink. Boht, eet is deez for time a jear dat vee… go… crrrazee. Ont zo, vee go to Mehxeeco, farr avay. Ont vee change.”

I LOVE this story no matter what, I love it… still I like hearing opinions. Come on and comment!

Grayson Reyes-Cole


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